Hello again dear reader. After a short absence it is time that I sit once again and post. Well let us not beat around the bush. Right in to the mess of it as they say...
The environment that I was raised in is a complicated one. On the one hand I have always had to work hard for the things I want and yet there is also an element of convenience. I have always been an outside person. My whole life has been sports, camping, rock climbing, carpentry, and mcdonalds. It seems to me that this is an almost common beginning and slowly all of the aforementioned activities are weeded out until all we do is fast food. This coupled with the copious amount of T.V. that I watch and the fact that I have a car now instead of a bike make for a very unhealthy lifestyle.
There is one thing though that makes this all a little less of an impact on my life; my attitude toward the fact of it. I hate the fact that where once we had to walk or ride to the places we wanted to go we now have the option of driving. Not only that, we are forced to drive because of the proximity of these places. If I could do so I would dismantle our entire way of life. I would have us back to the days when the market was the only place to go and that was in walking distance or riding distance. The days when a village was tight knit and all was togetherness. I dislike the world we live in even more because I have assimilated to it. I hate it and yet I depend upon it. I know that there are those who share these views but we have no power. We can only accept it and live our lives and know that we will end as the Romans did.
It is this attitude that lends a sense of bittersweet to all of my life experiences. Whenever I feel that I have accomplished something I realize that I have accomplished nothing. All of my little feats help nothing. I am as helpless as an ant under the glass. It is this that scares me. I hate the way we live and I am helpless to stop it. I dare not even try. This is a pathetic side of me I know and I am ashamed to admit it to you but I feel that you must know this to know me. You cannot imagine how badly I wish to drive off this invasion of pavement yet day after day I sit, and I wait. Seemingly, the only people in America who matter are only ones who couldn't give a rat's ass.
"This I clothe my naked villainy with old odd ends stolen forth from holy writ and seem a saint when most I play the devil."
I apologize for the depressing tone of this post. The ones to come will be much brighter I assure you dear reader.
The thing is, you DO have some power. If nothing else, you have some power to plant an herb garden and thereby begin to organically grow some of your own food. You also have the power (and the time) to think about where and how you want to live after college, even if that means finding a rural place to live and writing books from home or teaching in a distance learning program so that you needn't travel much.
ReplyDeleteNot only that, you have the ability to influence your community and government, but not if you feel so helpless and defeated that you don't even try.
I'll definitely try. It's just so hard to see myself having an impact. I'll trust you on this one though.
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